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Forest Cottage Centre Email Newsletter: February 2004

"Offering hope and help."

In this issue:

• Keeping the Healthy People Healthy
• Upcoming Workshops
• Our NEW services
• Resource Recall
• Special Request

It is instinctive for healthy parents to put their child's needs first and do whatever it takes to ensure their well-being.  In an emergency situation this is a necessary and valuable response but it is not something that can been sustained over the long haul.  And, when going from crisis to crisis, it is difficult to determine where the emergency ends and the long haul begins!

Many children with special needs will have life-long challenges.  There is no benefit to a parent losing their health, relationships or sanity trying to "fix' something that may never change nor saving their child at the expense of everyone else in the family.  However, if parents take care of themselves they will be able to be their best self AND be able to provide all that their child needs to become their best self.

The biggest challenge I face as a parent coach is convincing parents to take care of themselves FIRST, before implementing behaviour strategies for their child.  Parents are generally so run down that they must do this in order to be able to handle any behaviour strategies.  Everyone understands why they should put their oxygen mask on first if an emergency happened on a plane.  Parents need to remember to put on their "oxygen" at home too.

I usually start by having parents complete the Healthy Parent Checklist (available in pdf on the Forest Cottage homepage, click on "How Does Attachment Develop and scroll down).  This helps parents identify their strengths and weaknesses.  If you feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, check out this tool and feel free to contact me for help. A coach can help you sort out where to start, and how to move step-by-step towards health.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

How am I treating myself?  (Do I drink enough water, get enough sleep, eat healthy food, and get enough exercise?)

Am I utilizing the resources available to me?  (respite, childcare, coach, counsellor, social worker)

What is the one thing I can start working on this week?

Take time to love yourself FIRST this month. 

-Tanya Helton, Parent Coach, M.Sc.

Upcoming Workshops

Feb. 27, 2004 (Kelowna, BC):  Tanya will be presenting   "Understanding Attachment Disorder", sponsored by the Foster Parent Association.  To register contact Joan Kirkbride, Coordinator at 250-868-9285 or e-mail joankirkbride@shaw.ca.   Cost: $45 per person, $40 for foster or adoptive parents/SNAP members, $50 at the door.
March 5-7, 2004 (Grande Prairie, AB): Forest Cottage will be hosting a Moms' Retreat at the Holiday Inn & Suites and the attached Mirage Salon & Spa.  Join us for a relaxing weekend away.  Enjoy time with other moms away from the daily demands of home.  Enjoy shopping, great meals, sunset coaching circles, the designated scrapbooking nook, spa treatments, and a pajama party*.  Registration package attached.  For more information, e-mail Tanya@ForestCottageCentre.com.  Cost for retreat: Before Feb. 16, $115 +gst, After Feb. 16, $125 +gst.  Space is limited.  *Retreat cost does not include meals, hotel room or individual spa services.

March 26 & 27, April 2 & 3  - 2 consecutive weekends; Fridays 7:30-9:30 pm, Saturdays 9:30 am - 4 pm (Fort St. John, BC).  Tanya will be teaching "Becoming a Love and Logic Parent," a general parenting course.  To register contact the Continuing Education Dept. at Northern Lights College, 250-785-6981.  Cost: $99/person or $139/couple. 

May 11, 2004 (Prince George):  Tanya and Dr. Geoffrey Ainsworth, Child Psychiatrist at BC Children's Hospital will co-present "Understanding Attachment Disorder," at the Children, Families, and Communities Conference.  For registration and session information visit www.cfcc-pg.ca .

News
Our extended services are now available to families within the Peace River area.  Home support workers and a behaviour interventionist are now on staff to provide respite and services to seniors, special needs children and their families.  We are excited to be working in these new areas.  Call our office for more information!

Also we have NEW BUSINESS CARDS.  Call if you would like to receive some by mail.

Resource Recall
Over the years Tanya has lent a number of resources (books, videos, tapes) to families in crisis. Some of these are still not accounted for.  If you have some Forest Cottage items, please return them as soon as possible or at least let us know where they are residing!

Comments? 
We will be updating our website and workshop materials in the coming weeks and would like to include some of your comments about how Tanya's coaching, workshops, or newsletters have benefited you.  If you are willing to share something that we can quote in materials (anonymously or with attribution), please e-mail Tanya@ForestCottageCentre.com.